Crap Circles

A friend of mine left her husband this week for reasons I won't go into. The point is that he'd been acting peculiar for the last few weeks. She mentioned it to me, but she brushed the incidents aside until something really bad happened and the real problem hit her in the face.

I came up with a name for this "in your face but invisible" phenomenon.

Crap circles.

Crap circles are those signs in your life that something has happened or is happening. They’re something to worry about if you can see them. The problem is that when you’re standing in the middle of a crap circle, you can’t see it. It’s only when you step back and get a look at the big picture or take yourself out of the situation that you realize, “Oh yeah, the signs were there. I just didn’t see them.”

An example of a crap circle, was when my now ex-husband came home with grass in his underwear. I was so busy being almost lethally pregnant with what turned out to be our ten-and-a-half-pound son, that it didn’t dawn on me to wonder why vegetation would be in the drawers of a man who worked in an office. I just picked them up, shook them out, and threw them in the laundry. Later when we split up, I put two and two together and confronted him with it. He admitted that he went to the marina after an office party and rolled around in the grass with a female co-worker. Naked. The grass clippings must have gotten stuck on his pasty butt and transferred to his underwear.

Crap circle de-mystified.